I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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