just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize