She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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