I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
no. you can't hotbox the world.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
