i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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