Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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