He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
