I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wish they made helmets for livers.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
it's great music for shaving your balls
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
