did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
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Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
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he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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