it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
When did angry sex become our thing?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
