i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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