he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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