They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
