I am in a vortex of obligation.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
