My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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