I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
