i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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