We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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