Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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