so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
