you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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