It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
kristin has been a bad kristin
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
