omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
