he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize