I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
