I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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