I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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