I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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