yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
