i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
