she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
