Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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