He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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