Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
