My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
