Already got asked if we're dating
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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