we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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