My hand turned me down
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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