You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
