We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
