The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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