I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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