I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
This baby is an asshole
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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