YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
