are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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