found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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