my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
