i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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