what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
