I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize