erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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