i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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