yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
