these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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