I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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