I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
