No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
