handjob tips. give me some.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
