OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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