I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
