I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
