This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
